One Full Year Uterus-Free!

On July 23rd, 2021, I had FIVE organs removed: My cervix, my right fallopian tube, my left fallopian tube, my right ovary, and my demonic uterus. Today, on the one-year anniversary, I’m making an update about what’s been going on in my life since then.

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One Year Ago Today: July 23, 2021

It’s hard to believe it’s been 365 days since my lifesaving — and life changing — surgery! Wow!!

One year ago today, my husband Frank and I took an Uber ride to the surgery center. Then, Frank had to kiss me goodbye and wish me luck. Due to COVID restrictions in Los Angeles, no one was allowed into the building but staff and patients… that meant no loving husband by my side. Frank caught a ride back home where he and my parents waited anxiously by the phone, texting my bestie Christi the details as they came in.

Meanwhile, I was getting prepped for major surgery. They gave me a Pepcid for stomach acid (didn’t want acid reflux making a nasty guest appearance while I was unconscious!) and crossed their fingers that nothing would go wrong with the anesthesia. I had been put under once in my life before, for my hip replacement/bone graft as a wee one, but every medical and dental procedure I’d had since was done with only local anesthetics.

I tend to have bad reactions to strong medications. And even some “normal” ones (I’m deathly allergic to cough syrup, for example!).

They gave me zero painkillers while I was under. I had a prescription for Ibuprofen and an antinausea medication for when I got home. And, Papa & Barkley CBD ReLeaf Capsules came highly recommended. So, I had a bottle of those too! And they’re amazing. As someone who has struggled with chronic inflammation for most of my adult life, they were a Godsend, even now, long after my recovery period has come and gone. I was so impressed that Papa & Barkley’s CBD products actually do everything they say they will (from what I’ve experienced, a lot of places just slap the “CBD” label on to be trendy and the actual benefits are nil) that I became one of “Papa’s Champs” and recommend their products to everyone — especially fellow Spoonies who have never known a life completely free from pain…

Speaking of pain, the surgery itself went extremely well! And I kinda freaked out the staff a little bit. They were hovering around nervously, expecting me to have some trouble — after all, I’d just had five organs removed with zero painkillers! — but I was basically a-okay!! Compared to the pain I’d been in BEFORE the surgery, the actual operation pain was NOTHING!!

Our friend Brian’s girlfriend, Annie, picked me up and drove me home from the surgery center. They’d been together quite a while, but that was the first time I’d gotten to meet her in person (how memorable, huh??). She got me home safely and was an excellent driver. I liked her a ton, even though it was odd circumstances and a bit hard to concentrate due to the lingering anesthesia making me a bit woozy.

I’m happy to report that, since then, Brian and Annie have gotten engaged! ♥

So, that’s one big thing that’s changed since my surgery last year! Here are a few other things:

One Year of Physical Changes

My recovery had a lot of ups and downs. The immense daily pain I was in disappeared immediately, but the extreme fatigue that would hit at random for months afterwards was unexpected. I figured, since I was relatively pain-free, and since my surgeon said my physical healing was top-notch, that I could return to activities after the minimum six weeks of recovery. So I jumped back into my websites at full speed!

That was a mistake. I nearly burned myself out! Especially when life stuff (more on that in a minute) happened that would cause months (still ongoing!) of mental and emotional turmoil.

In the end, my recovery from surgery took the full/recommended six months.

In addition to having five fewer organs than I did at this time last year, I’ve experienced several other changes within my body…

Onions Make Me Cry Now

This is a silly one, but I figured I’d mention it since I haven’t seen anyone else do so. (Who knows? Maybe you’ve experienced something similar!).

I didn’t really eat onions regularly until I was around twelve (post-puberty!) and something folks noticed immediately was that onions never made me cry. So, for fun, I kept a running tally of the onions that actually did make me cry!

From age twelve to thirty-six, only NINE onions made me cry.

And then I had my hysterectomy.

I’ve cried nearly EVERY time I’ve chopped onions post-hysterectomy!! I’ve lost count!

And, every time, my dad says, “You lost your superpower!! Was it worth it…?”

Was it worth it to trade being in pain every minute of every day, having to go to make trips to the ER due to massive blood loss, and knowing that I would die sooner rather than later — leaving behind my husband, my family, my friends, my pets, my creations — in exchange for bawling whenever I cut onions? HECK YES IT WAS WORTH IT!!

I admittedly miss my ability to chop onions tear-free sometimes. I eat onions basically every day! But, I would ALWAYS make the choice to lose my “superpower” along with my uterus. Every time.

And, on the flip side, whenever I don’t cry from onions (rare now!), it’s nearly always because I’m having a hormonal upset of some kind! So that’s kind of a nice “tell” for me, especially since I no longer bleed/menstruate (which was a MUCH less subtle way for my body to say “it’s hormonal chaos in here!”).

Speaking of hormones…

I Still Have Monthly Fluctuations (and PMS)

My uterus, right ovary, cervix, and fallopian tubes were so messed up it took the pathology department significantly longer-than-average to make their report. My horribly mutated organs were so riddled with growths that they had to go through layer after layer after layer after layer of tissues, making sure that all of the various tumors (fibroids) and whatnot (cysts, endometrial hyperplasia, etc.) were indeed non-cancerous and that my surgery hadn’t accidentally sent dangerous cells out into the rest of my body. It was the most nerve-wracking part of my recovery, for sure!

But, while the bulk of my female organs were bunk and had to be trashed, one wasn’t: My left ovary!

Lefty got to stay!!

This was great news because it meant I wouldn’t be immediately thrust into menopause at 36! Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut… that doesn’t mean it’s been easy either.

I’m not going to give a whole biology lesson here but one of the main jobs of the ovaries is to produce hormones. Righty was, well, let’s say overzealous. Righty was pumping every hormone under her jurisdiction at maximum volume. Way too much. Righty was like “I have zero viable eggs and am therefore useless for reproduction but by golly I will produce the hormones for at least three ovaries!!” And Lefty was just kinda along for the ride.

Once Righty was removed, Lefty was then trusted to do the job of not one normal ovary but two! Kind of like people who only have one kidney, you know what I mean? When one organ in the set is removed, the remaining one has to do the work for both.

And we weren’t entirely sure if Lefty was going to be up for the job! And the poor lil fella was (and still is occasionally) very confused for a good long while in his attempts to find balance!

As of now, Lefty’s doing an amazing job! I do still have body (bloat!) and mood fluctuations in accordance to when I would have been menstruating, but they’re nowhere NEAR what they were. When Righty was around, the severity of my symptoms could be classified as PMDD preceding “that time” of the month. Whereas, now, if I have symptoms at all, it’s more along the lines of “normal” PMS. (And, if I remember to pay attention to the calendar and attend to my my vitamins and whatnot, I’m often able to avoid incident! I just get kinda sluggish).

Last, in regard to physical changes:

I’ve Gained Weight

At the time of my surgery, I was 190lbs. Now? I’m 240lbs.

That’s right.

I’ve gained 50lbs since this date last year.

However, this weight gain isn’t as simple as you might assume. The hormonal fluctuations did cause some yo-yoing, of course. That was expected.

I was also suddenly able to eat sugar again — something I wasn’t able to do for nearly two years without somehow rupturing an ovarian cyst! And I went a little wild with that, especially around the holidays. Especially since, around the holidays, my family got some extremely stressful news which my reaction to was repeatedly dying my hair (blonde > light brown > magenta > pink streaks > eggplant > natural/dark brown), testing the boundaries of my lactose intolerance (needing serotonin > cheese > diarrhea > dehydration > bloat), and gobbling down any desserts I could get my hands on.

So, yeah. My bad.

But it’s not just “I got fat.” Because I didn’t.

I also got strong.

You see, I’ve been 240lbs before! When I still had my uterus, I spent some time being 240lbs. But check this out:

• My Measurements in 2019 at 240lbs = 55-54-60
• My Measurements in 2022 at 240lbs = 48-44-51

I weigh the same but I take up less space!!

You know how people sometimes say “Muscle weighs more than fat?” That’s not exactly accurate. A pound is a pound. However, a pound of muscle is a more densely packed pound – it’s compressed – and therefore takes up less space than a pound of – loose – fat! Does that make sense?

I’m chonk, don’t get me wrong! You’ve seen my measurements! lol. But I’ve also gotten WAY BUFF too!!

I’ve been able to do more physical activities this past year than I’ve done in DECADES. I’ve gotten SO MUCH STUFF DONE in regard to household cleaning and yardwork! I still look soft on the outside thanks to my squishy fat layer but I’ve had some pretty awesome Hulked-out moments of BRUTE STRENGTH that made my husband and parents proud haha.

I’m looking forward to seeing just HOW MUCH my body is capable of in the coming years thanks to being rid of my defective organs that slowed me down for so very long.

One Year of Life Changes

I’ve mentioned in previous posts this year that my family, my friends, and I have been going through it in 2022. You probably have too. Seems like everyone is.

My friends’ pains are my pains as well because I love them; and when they hurt, I hurt. However, their pains are not mine to share with you because they are, after all, their pains. But please do keep my buddies in your prayers, as I can assure you they are all lovely people and don’t deserve the havoc 2022 has wrought on their lives.

What I can share, now, is a glimpse of what 2022 has brought to my own family/life.

I’ve mentioned many times over the years that my known biological family is immensely small. I’m an only child. My parents each had one brother. For me, my biological family boiled down to: My Mom, my mom’s older brother (Paul), my mom’s uncle (Ron), my dad, and my dad’s brother (Mike). Five people.

Late last year, Uncle Paul was diagnosed with terminal cancer. After many agonizing months, he passed away on March 16, 2022.

Exactly one month later, out of nowhere, with zero warning, Uncle Mike passed away from an aneurism on April 16, 2022.

Two fifths of my biological family were dead within four weeks.

And then Earl, our hamster, died.

Earl was geriatric in terms of hamster years, but it was still a lot. His passing would have always been rough, because losing a cherished pet always is; but losing him immediately after both uncles? Having an average of one death per month for three months? And those are “just” the losses I have the okay to talk about with you! Oof…

We’ve spent the bulk of this year settling the affairs of my recently deceased uncles. And that’s still actively ongoing, even now!! Our family hasn’t had a single day this year that wasn’t somehow connected to those events — those losses.

But, from those losses, there’s been a lot of good as well. A lot of opportunities for love. My Great Uncle Ron and I have grown ever closer, I’ve also gotten closer with Aunt Ivana (Uncle Paul’s widow), and after 37+ years I finally got to meet my cousin-in-law Claire (my deceased Aunt Carol’s niece!) and she’s awesome thus far (though, I admit, it’s a bit overwhelming sometimes getting to know new family in the midst of a family tragedy no matter how super sweet they are!).

And, throughout this emotionally grueling year, I was once again reminded how very blessed and lucky we are to have the friends we do. Though our biological family has always been small, our friends-who-are-family are immense and SO wonderful. Our friends have carried us through this year in so many ways.

Just as they did in their efforts to get me my surgery last year. I wouldn’t even BE here if my friends hadn’t helped me!!

And, of course, there’s my husband.

Frank and I were married on April 27, 2019. Then, one day before our first wedding anniversary, on April 26, 2020, I started my period and it didn’t friggin’ STOP until my total laparoscopic hysterectomy on July 23, 2021. I spent the bulk of our first years together as a married couple in daily pain.

This year marked our third wedding anniversary overall… and the FIRST one we actually got to celebrate! We went to Outback Steakhouse, the location of our first in-person date.

Every day, I’m reminded how lucky I am to be married to my very BEST friend in the entire world ever. And we’ve certainly gotten the “through sickness” and “through poorer” (thanks, medical debt!) parts of our vows out of the way! Heh.

Anyway… In other, not as “heavy” life news: I grew my first tomato this past year!

While I was bedridden with all of my uterus issues, Frank got really into gardening! And he’s REALLY good at it. Look at this:

That’s not a stock photo!! Look closely at that carrot on the right. Now look at this picture of Frank:

Frank grew ALL of that stuff! From seeds!!! Can you believe that?!

And now that I’m fully recovered from my surgery — and from the reasons I had to have surgery in the first place! – Frank’s teaching me how to grow vegetables as well, starting with my very own tomato plant.

There’s been other stuff too (like having to get all new plumbing! And being nicotine-free for well over a year!), but that’s all of the private life stuff I feel comfortable sharing publicly on the internet.

Speaking of public stuff on the internet…

One Year of Online Changes

In spite of recovering from having five organs removed in the midst of losing 2/5 of my biological family, I’ve managed to get a fair amount of things done. (And, now, you may have a better understanding of how/why my most popular post this past year was “How to Continue Creating During a Personal Crisis“).

Here on LittleZotz.com (which will be celebrating it’s 12th anniversary on August 17th!):

• I’ve written 21 blog posts, including this one.
• I’ve made 25 public YouTube videos.
• I’ve also uploaded 14 supporter EXCLUSIVE videos.
• I’ve started streaming myself playing video games every Friday for your enjoyment (and mine). I’ve completed 7 streaming sessions at the time of this writing.
• And I’ve created many (I forgot to count them lol) drawings and paintings!

And over on my horror-focused website, HorrorFam.com:

• I wrote 5 articles. (11,155 words)
• I hosted 5 video podcasts. (I also did all of the video editing and wrote the transcripts – 24,554 words!)
• I edited 14 guest posts (11 by Christi Bandy, 2 by AJ Spencer, and 1 by Frank Spear – a combined 15,489 words)

Not too shabby!!

One Year of Feeling Thankful

2022 has been rough, but it would have been a heck of a lot rougher if I were still bleeding…

For one full year, I have been thankful every darn day that I’m no longer being tormented by my demon uterus and its evil hench organs!

To close this MASSIVE one-year hysterectomy anniversary update, I’d like to thank Dr. Dao (my skilled surgeon) and give a big ol’ shoutout to New Choice Health and their Patient Assist program.

When you have low income and no insurance, it’s difficult to get any kind of medical help. During normal times, it’s an immense hassle — during a global pandemic, it was nearly impossible!

Women’s health issues were cast aside. It took a long time to even get diagnostics, let alone actual help. It was overwhelming! I could barely get my foot in any doors and, when I did, I was quoted outrageous “cash discount” prices.

New Choice Health acted as a temporary form of insurance as well as a savvy medical advocate. They took over pounding on doors and asking for help while I focused on things like not bleeding to death before I could be saved.

Through New Choice Health’s Patient Assist program, I was able to get the care I needed despite my lack of resources. They negotiated on my behalf and made sure I was taken care of. My family and I would’ve been lost without their help.

If you’re in a similar situation, I couldn’t possibly recommend them more! (And those are NOT affiliate links! I don’t get anything for sending you their way except the feel good satisfaction of knowing you’ll be taken care of).

Thank you for reading this.

–Lauren*